So you want my job: Imperial Stormtrooper

How is the food?

We are issued the standard imperial ration of dried bantha, vitamin wafers and spiced dewback for desert. It gets pretty boring pretty fast. Officers get special rations and sometimes we can buy local food if we're posted planetside...but that's against regulations.
What are your hours?
Every tour lasts 360 solar rotations. We spend ten hours on duty and fourteen in the barracks on average. If we are deployed on a mission we may be in uniform for days at a time. Sometimes we just sit in our barracks, playing hologames or training in simulations.

Do you get time off?

If we are deployed on a habitable planet we can get one-rotation passes. Its great to take a break from the heavy uniforms and explore, though imperial insurance doesn't cover injuries sustained during leave.

What will you do if the Empire falls?

That's a very hard question. Our leaders say it's never going to fall, gonna go on for ten thousand years like the Republic. But things aren't looking to good. I wouldn't want to go back to selling vaporators and generators. If the Empire did fall I would try and liberate as many credits as I could and buy me a nice bunch of planet somewhere. Perhaps have a private sailbarge. Try racing speeders. But I'll probably end up as a mercenary or security guard. The Hutt cartel always needs somebody to keep the locals in line.

Why are Stormtroopers inaccurate?

Don't get me wrong, the E-11 blaster carbine is a reliable weapon, but its very hard to aim and the sights could be better. Our regulation helmets are hard to see out of because of the double-thick lenses. Also, we are trained to fire from the hip at close range. Military tactics say the AT-ST's will get everything at long range so we don't have to be that accurate. But the E-11 also uses low-grade Tibanna gas as ammunition. This stuff will burn right through a wookie, but it tends to fire to the left or right if your blaster regulator is badly set, we get a lot of bad regulators. It is also hard to hit moving targets that are not in formation. Lastly, some stormtroopers are badly out of shape and in combat suffer from "shaky hand."

What are the advancement opportunities in your career?

There are not many ways to move up. Sometimes you can become a technician. The best place is imperial servitor. This is like a non-commisoned officer. They wear black half helmets and follow the officers around, waiting for orders. They also get powerful blaster pistols that are much more accurate than the average blaster. But if you want to rise above that you have to go to the Imperial Officer training Academy and study for 800 solar rotations, then pass an exam.

Are you happy with your job?

Not really. It is not my dream military employment. There is lots of days when you sit around the barracks, stardreaming about the places you will go and the things you'll do. There are always rumors, lots of rumors. Like "We are being rotated to Naboo. The Empire is giving all the troops a credit bonus. The rebels are going to attack us soon." The pay is nothing great, 3000 credits for a tour of duty. I'd rather be a bounty hunter. I hear you can make a real fortune that way.

Is your armor effective against laser fire?

Our full-body armor gives full protection against all primitive kinetic weapons, from arrows and clubs to firearms. It can also withstand low-power blaster shots. Commercially sold blasters are usually pretty useless against it. But the rebels and terrorists we have been fighting not only build their own military-grade weapons, but modify hunting blasters and steal our E-11's. Our carbine's can blast through any amount of personal armor, not that the rebels use any. I would say that our standard stormtrooper armor is very good against aliens and primitive technology, but a heavy enough laser charge will burn a hole straight through it.

Why do you have helmets you can't see out of?

It's largely a matter of protection. It is essential to give full protection to a trooper's head. The regulation helmet has double-thick hyperglass lenses. The helmet is very thick to withstand low-power blasters and is completely sealed against chemical and nerve-gas weapons, which the cowardly rebellion is sure to use against us very soon. But these features do make it a little difficult to see clearly. The hyperglass lenses are curved, which gives everything a 'magnified' look. But for all it's flaws our helmets provide excellent protection, temporary survival in space and are a essential piece of our personal armor. In my mind the effectiveness of the design far outweighs any defects. (But I wish I could wear one of those scout trooper helmets.)

How are working conditions?

The conditions vary according to where you are deployed. I'll never forget being stuck in a baking hot outpost on Tattoine, that was about when the first Death Star blew up. I was sweating like crazy in my armor. Ever ride a Dewback? Its the only thing in the desert sweatier than you, we didn't really get saddles, so it was hour after hour of lurching across the desert, trying to keep from losing the rations you ate that morning with one hand and blasting at sand people with the other. It was not fun. But then we got transferred. (Something about the rate of desertion being too high.) Our next spot was Cloud City. The life forms were unfriendly. Once the rebellion starts their propaganda thing everybody suddenly seems oppressed whenever we are around to preserve law and order. But we still had a good time. Our officer didn't want to give us passes. He walks in and says. "We are orbiting the planet Bespin, so I can't give you planetside passes." Then Torch, (he's my bunkmate, been with me since Hoth,) speaks up. "With all due respect sir, if we got any closer to this planets surface we'd be squished by the gas pressure. I'm sure you could give us 'almost planetside passes'." Everybody laughed. Our officer was a nice sort, not the average stuffy officer type. We got our passes and everybody had a good time.

Are you friendly with other imperial troops?

It is difficult to make friends in this job. There is a very military attitude in the Empire's troops. There is very strict discipline observed. But everybody in my squad knows each other. We all know we'll be there for each other if we ever get in a tight spot. My best mates are Torch and Mashi Sar, veterans of many deployments. Other than my squadmates I don't have friends in the forces. The officers are too stuck up, the enlisted men are too busy and the droids are too dumb.

Why do you work this job?

I signed up for the adventure, for the credits and the glory. I got boredom, minimum pay and big risks. At least I volunteered, the guys who got drafted can't quit for another 800 solar cycles. I've done four tours. Tattooine, Hoth, Endor and Bespin. After this tour I think I'll retire. Its just not a fun job. The Empire just lost their second, not-so-secret superweapon, so they are making budget cuts. That means less pay for the troopers. I think I'll catch a freighter back to Coruscant and look for some mercenary jobs. They pay good for veteran Imperial soldiers. You ask why I work this job? Right now I'm asking myself the same thing.

Why don't stormtroopers ever reload their blasters?

One of the advantages of the  E-11 over the old DC-17's is the new gas injector. One cartridge of Tibanna gas gives 40 shots of low-power blasts or 10 shots of overload blasts. And if a trooper did reload you probably just didn't see it. We are trained to reload very quickly. Also, the new E-12 used in the battle of Endor can fire twice as many shots from one cartridge, though this reduces accuracy and the overload feature is disabled.

Why didn't you use camouflage on Endor?

I was not actually present for the battle, but I've read all the reports and talked to veterans. Unfortunately, the Empire's tacticians had decided that camouflage in obsolete and too expensive in view of the recent budget cuts, after the first Death Star went south due to a malfunction with its megalaser. The scout troopers deployed there were equipped with stealth field belts which i'm sure you've seen in action. But you must understand that imperial troops are not cowardly rebels. We are the most elite troops, (and due to budget cuts the only ground troops.) We do not normally ambush and hide. We storm in and cut down any resistance without mercy. We stand tall and take pride in defending the Empire from rebels, terrorists and anyone who defies law and order. Sorry, I got carried away. I've been watching too many Imperial propaganda films. I hear that we are reconsidering using camouflage in our planetside operations.

Do you have a personal life?

I don't have time for one right now. And if I did I wouldn't share it with you. Once my Bespin tour ends I'm gonna start making some real credits. If I work hard I'll be able to retire in a few years to my little piece of paradise planet. With my sail barge, my fancy house and my own valley of otherworldly wilderness. Check up on me in a few years and I'll sell you the rights to my autobiography. Its gonna be a best seller.