Colonist Competition
The massive colony ship Fragrance drifted through the vast emptiness of space. Built around a electrochemical artificial inertia gravity well it spun slowly, gleaming energy panels capturing every spare electron from the ambient energy swirling around it. Aboard one of its biome pods an ancient man sat in his hoverchair, gazing around at the artificial forest around him.
Three small children scrambled onto his lap. They were wiry and strong from constant exercise in the Biome Scouts program to counteract the weightlessness of space. One of them tossed the 40-lb iron weight she had been using as a toy to the forest floor and tugged on the old man's arm. "Gwandpa, tell us again where we came from." The old man adjusted his hearing aid with his connector pad. "Well, it is a planet called Earth. I was just a child that day, 204 years ago, when we blasted off for another planet, one our scientists said could support human life." The child was not satisfied. "But why Gwandpa? Why did we leave?" The old man shuddered. "Well, um, you see some bad people messed up Earth with garbage and wars, we don't have those things here." The child slipped off of his lap and tossed the iron toy to one of it's playmates. "Where are we going again?" The old man looked up at the artificial sky as if he could see the space beyond. "It is 20,000 years away. They call it E2. You will never see it, or your family, or theirs. But one day we will reach it and have a real home."
Aboard the Fragrance's bridge captain Harold Wipe stared out at the stars, ignoring the instruments before him. His first officer had reported an uncharted meteor from the Earth's solar system that would pass by them in moments. He stared as another ship instead rumbled past the colony ship. A video in crisp HD popped up on his screen.
Metal faceplate inscrutable, a robot peered at captain Harold Wipe and spoke in flat tones. "Greetings captain. I am 953, captain of the United Earth ship Touchdown. I command a retrofitted freighter containing five million human colonists frozen in state-of-the-art suspended animation, along with their pets and slaves. We have been in transit for 187 years 2 months three Earth-days. I find this encounter noteworthy because your vessel is so hopelessly antiquated. Without our metal-nanoparticle alloys and Ionic Fusion engines you cannot hope to reach E2 before your ship falls apart, or you are hit by a meteor, or suffer an internal war. I will recommend that a ship be sent after you to save you. It would be a great pity to have such a historical treasure be lost to space. Have a good day captain Harold Wipe, and fly safely."
Shining and swift, the Touchdown streaked by the Fragrance as the colony ship's human captain stared in disbelief, unable to comprehend that his voyage was now obsolete.
Six million miles later the Touchdown encountered an anomaly. It seemed that a beam of Zeta-particles, born in the heart of a Phlebotinum reactor field, was rippling past the freighter stacked with frozen humans and robots. As the ribbon of gamma particles glowed and bent past a subspace transmission beamed from it into the circuit brain of 953. The robot received an impression, a fuzzy image of a teenager with curly purple hair lounging on a dashboard pushing random buttons. The mind-message came through. "Hey clanker, this is chief Dude Boowap Uggie of the spacesurfer Dunno. We were just cruisin' over on a ten-minute ride to E2 when we saw your old barge driftin' along. By the way we fixed up Earth while you were gone. Tell captain Harold Wipe if you see him that his dad just came out of cryosleep for his 800th birthday and says hi. Id stop ta chat but Iv'e got six instant TV channels transmitting directly to me brain and a load of tourists who want to see that planet we were gonna colonize. Gotta go, stay golden metal dude."
The freighter Touchdown trudged stolidly along towards E2. But it's robotic captain stared after the ribbon of energy, it's circuits unable to cope with what it had just seen.
Greasy and liberally spraypainted, the spacesurfer Dunno slammed to a stop in front of the planet E2. Chief dude Boowap slapped deputy dude Jiggup on the back and flew towards the drop pods with his personal jetpack. "Hey Jiggup. Fly this thing while I be the first dude to ever step on E2."
Hot and spraypainted, the pod hit the rolling green hills of E2 and unfolded like a flower, revealing the tattooed face and gold-suited figure of Boowap. The kid threw a dozen spheres into the air, which deployed into quantum drones beaming footage live back to Earth. He raised his voice, high and squeaky in the helium-rich atmosphere of E2. "Hey everybody. That's right, it's your favorite space-bender, da big Uggie. Watch this. Boowap turned and raised his foot dramatically. "This is one big step for me, and you is all cool with that."
Before Boowap's eyes the air shimmered and three figures appeared before him. Dressed in sensible green robes, with shining eyes and high forheads, the figures stepped forwards. The formost figure sent a telepathic broadcast to his companions. "Brothers, the teleporter works. Let us next transport the Fragrance and Touchdown here, for those pioneers deserve to witness this historic moment.
Boowap blinked as Harold Wipe and 953 appeared besides him in beams of light and quantum fallout. He smiled sheepishly and slapped them each on the back. "Hey dudes, glad ya could make it."
The three captains noticed the three teleporting scientists standing on the crest of the nearest hill and walked towards them over the alien meadow of waving solar fronds. They reached the top and saw what drew the admiration of the scientists. There, on the distant horizon bloomed a gleam of purple splendor. The sun was rising. And the six humans felt at home.